Movie Review: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

OMG!!! I finally got to see the trailers for "The Amazing Spider-Man" and "The Dark Knight Rises" on the big screen before watching "Breaking Dawn" yesterday. I swear I almost jizzed in my pants. Twice. I'm incredibly excited to see Andrew Garfield in the Spidey suit. And to see Joseph Gordon-Levitt on the big screen again. (Way to go not showing "Hesher" or "50-50" in cinemas, Manila!)

via 4-bp

Anyway... If you know me well, you should know that I am absolutely addicted to vampires. The good kind, anyway. I am a huge fan of the Anne Rice novels, for example, and I was even in a play called Dracula: Undead back when I lived in Bangkok. Heck, I even liked Colin Farrell's depiction of a vampire in "Fright Night".

Unfortunately, there are some vampires that I do not like: the Twilight vampires. *watches as hordes of Twihards un-follow this blog*

I'm sorry, but vampires don't sparkle. And they sure as hell don't have sex, either, because… err… they don't have any blood pumping down there!!!

via The Pit Walk

Ahem. Anyway, they started off the movie right, at least. With Jacob ripping off his shirt and all. I'll give them that. Aside from that, though, you can expect the usual from this installment of the Twilight series: bad acting (that werewolf chick? WHOEVER CAST HER DESERVES TO BE SHOT), an impossible-to-follow storyline (sooo… Jacob's been in-love with Bella all this time, but now that she's got a daughter who ages pretty quickly, he's decided to go for her instead? …that's …not …weird …at all…?), and a friggin' good soundtrack that actually makes you feel like the 250 pesos that you just spent on the movie was actually worth it. Did I mention Jacob loses his shirt within the first two seconds of the movie? Score.

via Fan Pop

In all fairness, though, I watched this with Syrena - my one-year-old - and she sat through the entire thing without as much as a peep. Granted, she had popcorn to keep her company and she did turn around to hug me every time there was a werewolf on the screen, but hey, I was ready to leave the cinema anytime if she cried. And she didn't. I'm so proud. Can't wait to get back into my movie-watching groove and tag her along all the time now. :)

via Hollywood Life

Also, I'll admit that Bella's wedding gown was gorgeous from the back. And that I'm semi-envious that they had such good sex, their bed broke. I wanna have sex so good that my bed breaks. But they just don't make men like that anymore. Edward is clearly just a figment of some chick's (pretty good) imagination.

And oh, that pregnancy scene? Yup. Officially not having anymore kids, thanks.

My Official Rating: 2.5 stars out of 5

It was bearable, I'll give it that. And I didn't give as many snide comments during the movie as I did with the previous Twilight movies. So yeah. 2.5. I wonder how many followers I'm gonna lose after posting this review...