Hoes Over Bros.

This time last year, I didn't really have a lot of friends. I would like to blame this on the guy that I was dating, but I also know that it was a personal choice that I made at the time - a bad one, I must admit.

black aviator sunglasses from Ray-Ban / black Rolling Stones tank top and black floral skirt from Forever 21 / animal print boots from SM Parisian

I was hurt by a guy who ghosted me last year, so when this new guy swooped in and showered me with attention, I decided to forgo having friends and have nothing but him in my life. It's not that I didn't want to hang out with my friends anymore. It's just that he didn't like me hanging out with my friends.

He was the jealous type, so he didn't like it when I went out drinking - forget the fact that I only ever go out drinking with my girls and gay friends. I tried inviting him to go out drinking with us, too; but he also happened to be the socially inept type who couldn't look new people in the eye, let alone hold conversations with them.

I tried hanging out with my friends even though he didn't like it, but that just turned out being a whole lot more trouble than it was worth. There was a lot of screaming, explaining and more screaming, and then I started lying about being in bed getting ready to sleep just to hang out with them… until I got caught and there was more screaming, explaining and more screaming, that I just stopped going out to appease him and keep the waters calm.

My resting bitch face

Fast forward to the day things blew up and I learned that he had been cheating on me for months and there I was… without friends… and no one to talk to. That's when I realised that 'hoes over bros' really should be my mantra.

And so, that's how it has been ever since I started dating Julian. Fortunately, Julian is the sociable type, so I can bring him out with me and introduce him to practically anyone and he'll be able to hold his own.

In fact, I am proud to say that he gets along with my friends just great - so much so that he hangs out with us for hours on end, and the best part is that my friends don't see him as just 'the boyfriend' (you know the kind I mean: the one who's there, but doesn't wanna be there and looks like he just wants to leave).

Why am I talking about this? Why do I think this is important? Well, I've heard so many girl friends tell me they can't hang out because their boyfriends won't let them. Having been there, I just want to say: please don't let your boyfriends dictate your life.

You wanna hang out with your friends? Go hang out with your friends. You wanna dress a certain way? Dress however the heck you want to. Do you enjoy putting on makeup because it makes you feel better about yourself? Pack it on.

Why should you let a man dictate what you do or don't do? If you let your boyfriend control your life now, just imagine what it will be like years from now. Unless, of course, you don't see yourself with this guy in the long term… In which case, what are you even doing with him to begin with?

Remember: at the end of the day, your friends are who you've got. I'm just lucky mine welcomed me back with open arms and willingly worked with me at rebuilding our bonds, even though I ignored them for half a year. Don't let that happen to you. If you don't wanna lose your man, find some sort of compromise. Your life will be much happier if you find the right balance. :)

Why You Should Swim with Whalesharks in Donsol Instead of Oslob

Not a lot of people know this, but I've been a WWF member for around 6 years now. I don't really talk about it much unless provoked, but I always make it a point to do my best to help the environment and to help out as much as I can in terms of wilderness preservation.

I'd like to believe that my monthly donations to WWF help in the latter aspect, but I didn't really get to do anything hands-on or really feel like I mattered in that regard until earlier this year when I was invited to the announcement of WWF's global partnership with Royal Caribbean Cruises to support ocean conservation in Donsol, Sorsogon.

I had no idea where Donsol or Sorsogon was when I got on the plane, to be honest, and I was going through a lot of emotional turmoil at the time; but when we landed and I saw the beautiful Mayon Volcano, my entire being breathed and I felt at peace.

Meeting new people, making new friends and discovering sili dirty ice cream (with different levels of spiciness!) aside, I learned more about whalesharks in Donsol. Up until that day, they were nothing but an animal in a museum and an attraction in Oslob that I had thought about experiencing one day.

Little did I know that whalesharks weren't treated well in Oslob. In Donsol, we went 'whaleshark hunting' with hopes of getting a glimpse of a beautiful butanding. However, before we even went on our excursion, we were given a set of rules to follow: no feeding, no touching, and no riding - all three things of which I had seen in pictures and heard from stories of people who had swam with whalesharks in Oslob.

Photo from lonelyplanet.com

In fact, from the stories I had heard, the 'tour guides' in Oslob sprinkle food into the ocean to attract the whalesharks, so that the tourists who paid for the tour can swim with them. This is a huge no-no! Not only are whalesharks no longer finding food naturally this way, but they also no longer migrate when they should because they know that people in Oslob will feed them. Why leave when food is so easily offered up to them? Need I mention that the 'food' that people feed them in Oslob doesn't have the necessary nutritional value that natural food like plankton can provide the whalesharks?

Also, from what I've heard, things can get super crowded at Oslob with tourist boats popping up left and right to get to see the whalesharks, sometimes even hitting the whalesharks unintentionally because of the proximity. In Donsol, there are only about five or six going out at a time with hopes of getting a glimpse of these majestic beings - but none of them ever throwing out food to entice them over.

Yes, it's true that it's much harder to 'swim with whalesharks' if you search for them the natural way. In Donsol, we actually looked for those whalesharks for hours. And then, when we finally jumped into the water after spotting one, we had maybe 10 to 15 seconds of swimming with them - nothing more. Some of the boats weren't even able to spot a whaleshark while we were there, causing them to go back the next day to try again.

This may not be as fun or as cool as the amount of minutes you get to spend with them in Oslob, but at least you aren't tricking them to come to you by feeding them. Instead, you get to experience them in their natural habitat in a completely safe way. Besides, trust me: the adrenaline that comes with seeing a whaleshark from afar and knowing you might have a chance to swim with them is intensely amazing and well worth the hours spent trying to spot one to begin with.

Of course, the best part is that your conscience will be completely clear afterwards. :) Have you tried swimming with whalesharks in Donsol yet?