The Importance of Values

The older I'm getting, the more I'm realizing the importance of values. Don't get me wrong. I'm no saint. In fact, looking back at the person that I was a decade ago (or even just a few years ago), I can't help but cringe at the life decisions I've made and the lack of values I used to have.

If I could, I'd go back and give my past self several slaps in the face for being so insensitive, reckless, and utterly stupid. However, the beauty of it is that I have (thankfully) grown into a better person (or so I'd like to think) and am always open to being corrected, schooled, and changed. Despite being much older, I admit that I still have a lot to learn and improve on; and I think that's an important thing to know and admit.

This year has been a major eye-opener for me. Before (specifically when I first moved here), I always tried to befriend everyone that I met. Because I was new to the country and was no longer in school, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to make any friends; so I befriended practically everyone who crossed my path. And while I did meet a select few awesome people along the way, the truth of the matter is that I wasted a lot of time with people I had absolutely nothing in common with and didn't even like to begin with.

I spent sleepless nights and early mornings with toxic people who did nothing but talk shit about other people all day. I wasted hours building fake friendships and relationships with users and losers. This year, however, I learned how to not tolerate shit from anyone anymore. I would honestly rather spend all my time alone curled up with a book at home than be around people who have zero values.

I realized this change in my mindset pretty early on this year. While I have no qualms sharing my blessings with people who haven't experienced the expensive beauty that life sometimes has to offer, there was this one particular person who took crazy advantage of that. She never had any money and always mooched off of me and my friends. She even borrowed some money from me and never paid me back. I even took her on trips and to hotels with me. In the end, she disrespected my home, my friendship, and my beliefs; and I now wish I could've taken all of my time and money back.

Soon after that, I dated someone with values that didn't sit well with me. As nice as he was (or should I say as nice as his car was lol), he eventually showed his true colors by making homophobic remarks and practically worshipping the Filipino government. He cheered when people lost their jobs and constantly made fun of the LGBT community - something that really did not sit well with me on any level. It was hard to school him, too, because he was always convinced that he was right. Add to that the fact that he was disrespectful to his own family and I just knew there was no future there whatsoever.

Don't get me wrong. I'm sure traits like the ones mentioned above might not be deal breakers to other people, but I believe that you should figure out early on what kind of people you want to surround yourself with. Find people who won't make you roll your eyes on your end of the phone. Find people whose remarks won't get your blood boiling at crazy temperatures. There's nothing wrong with little healthy arguments and disagreements; but if they say things or do things that aren't aligned with your beliefs and values, don't be afraid to drop them from your life.

You deserve peace of mind. You deserve contentment. You deserve growth. And you deserve to surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you a better person. I used to be such a negative, angry She-Hulk; but surrounding myself with amazing people has turned me into a better person overall. You can do the same by deleting people from your life. You'll feel much better and become a much better person in the end because of it. Trust me.