Looking back on 2020

 I've been wanting to write this post for weeks now. You know those beautiful essays that people write to end their year? I wanted to do that. I really did. However, towards the end of 2020, some of my "friends" had "shamed" me for my productivity and accomplishments of the crazy year that was; and for a while, I no longer felt proud of everything that I had done during the pandemic.

I am in a different mindset today. I've gone through heartbreak after heartbreak and through failure after failure this month that I really just need to write about something positive for a change.

For all I care, those "friends" can go rot in their hate. I am here to announce - loud and proud - that 2020, the year that everyone has come to hate for many reasons, was the year that I got my shit together and did everything I had once only dreamed and talked about doing. This is my blog post on what some people might call yabang. Deal with it.

To start, I need to say that I started 2020 with a bang. I got a new side job as a writer for two websites in Singapore. I was dating someone I really liked at the time. I squeezed in three beach trips in two months. I made a ton of amazing new friends. We had a WIM party to thank all of our supporters. And I was over the moon.

I told myself it would be my "year of travel" - that I would go to all of the places I had always said I would go to but never did: Japan so I could see sakura on my birthday, Bangkok so I could see all of my friends there after a decade of staying away, Korea to search for my favorite KDrama locations, the US to see my sisters, and Davao to see my brother and new nephew. None of that happened.

Being someone who relied on trips, sexual escapades, gym sessions, and nights drinking and playing beer pong for sanity; you can imagine how much of a lifestyle change I went through during the beginning of quarantine. It was terrible. I found myself going through a downward spiral of binge-eating and felt my obese college self coming back to the forefront. I also felt my social skills deteriorating week by week. And I found myself staring at the ceiling at night wondering if I would survive being stuck in this toxic household day in and day out.

And then one day, the guy who I was (very proudly, I might add) dating at the time told me it was up to me to make a change. Although things didn't work out between us, I am still thankful to him for sitting me down and giving me that much-needed conversation at the time. Because of him, I got up off my sad ass and stopped feeling sorry for myself. And thus started my productive 2020.

I joined a voice acting workshop.

Although I had done a few voice-related projects in the past, 2020 was the year I decided to take things a little more seriously. I joined a voice acting workshop and became a certified voice artist. I started auditioning more aggressively. And I ended up doing a bunch of fun projects that helped me grow as a voice artist.

I stopped drinking (and having casual sex).

Are you giggling or laughing? Lol. I don't blame you. But trust me: these were two of my worst "vices" pre-pandemic. And once the pandemic set in, I realized I don't actually need alcohol (or even sex) to function as a normal human being. I also learned that I don't actually enjoy beer. I really just drank it for beer pong. Go figure.

I learned who my true friends are.

Being stuck at home without going out, I really learned who my true friends are. When things went to shit, I realized who was actually willing to be there for me and I cut my friends' circle by about 90% this way. Don't get me wrong. I'm still friends with most of the people I was friends with pre-pandemic, but I learned who I can really trust and who was just there for fun and games.

I started learning a new language.

Okay. I'm not entirely sure if I should be proud of this, but I started learning Korean. The reason why I'm not proud is the reason behind it. See, I started learning Japanese first... but failed miserably that I decided to try another language in its stead. I'm proud to say that I am progressing in learning Korean, though. And I can't wait for the day when I can finally watch KDramas while working because I no longer have to read subtitles. Maybe I'll find an oppa in the process, too. Char.

I got a job at Newsweek.

You all know how much I love my job at When in Manila. However, having so much free time in my hands, I figured I'd try my hand at applying for another job since the opportunity was there. Imagine my surprise when I got hired almost instantly and now, I am in love with my job at Newsweek, too. I'm so blessed to be able to do what I love to do for work, as stressful as it might be sometimes.

I became a certified tarot reader.

Voice acting aside, I also tried my hand at tarot reading. After all, I spent the past six years talking about it and relying on it for advice. (Check out my tarot card reader, Robert Rubin, by the way. He is THE BEST!) I also made some great friends at the workshop and by reading for people. Hands down the best workshop I took last year! Unfortunately, my tarot account has been hacked for the second time this month so I can't promote it here. Lelz. Not sure why that has been happening, to be honest.

I joined a bunch of other workshops.

The aforementioned workshops aside, I also took a bunch of other workshops for personal development, including but not limited to crystal healing and social media management. I have also read more books in 2020 than I had in the past five years combined.

I am currently at my strongest.

I also started working out more aggressively to release all of my pent-up stress, anger, and frustration. (Trust me: it helps!) Although I am probably at my fattest and heaviest than I have been in the past five years, I am also at my strongest. And that has really been my goal since the pandemic started, really. With no men in the household, there's no one to do the heavy lifting but me. I figured I can at least contribute that at the very least. Some may not agree that this is the best physique, but it is the proudest I have been of my body in my life.

None of my loved ones died from COVID-19.

Naturally, this is the most important part of 2020. Although I have had a handful of loved ones who got infected by the coronavirus, they have all survived it - and I shall forever be thankful for that.

2021 hasn't been off to a good start for me, but I'd like to think that January is just a mad blip in my year that will be. I am trying to stay as positive as the cynical me can possibly be; but with the supportive people at my side, I am hopeful to make it through as I always have.

How has your 2021 been so far?